The “What-is-ness” of Me

So I finally found my voice.  I had no idea that I hadn’t really fully used it before.  Having grown up the product of an overly artistic family that despises mediocrity in all that it stands for I realized I continually rebelled by trying (in fact yearning) to be quote unquote, normal.  Now I have come to terms with my ways, I just know that normal isn’t my deal.  Not that there is anything wrong with it.  It just doesn’t feel quite right like an ill fitting pair of shoes you still buy simply because they are on sale in hopes that your feet might fit into them properly one day.  I am somewhere in the middle.  I am my own version of artsy fartsy quirky funky and the sum total of my years of experience trying to be normal.  I had no real way of knowing I would truly discover the heart of my being in the process.   Living in the aftermath of this epiphany is an entirely different story.  I would say it is an ongoing process of relaxing into the “what is-ness” of the “me” I have come to know and am beginning to love.  Reiki and all my other amazing tools in the wondrous “cosmic toolbox” I cart around like Felix the cat have really helped me to stand my ground and release that which has bound me like a slave to the crap of my past.  I am forever grateful to have attracted just the right teachers, books, friends, and other such tools with which to work it all out at of course, just the right time.  Gotta love divine timing.  It’s always there whether you like it or not.